Sooooo...... ummmm... Bath Half then?

I must be out of my tiny brain. Today I signed up for the Bath Half Marathon.

I don’t know why, I still say I hate running, I still haven’t reached that place so many others have where they start to ‘enjoy’ going for a run! So why??

Well….. after completing Cardiff I now know I can do it. My biggest fear going into it was literally being last, or being ushered on to the pavements as the roads were being re-opened cos I’d taken too long. Having looked up my race time from Cardiff I am pleased to say I came 10,720odd place, even if some of the 15,000+ applicants didn’t turn up, I know I wasn’t last!!

I didn’t want to have to turn around to those who had sponsored me and say I hadn’t been able to finish. The day was very hard and this was partly due to my lack of training, I don’t think I ran one step for about 2 months before last Sunday, it’s really a miracle that I finished in 3 hours 24 mins.

From about August, in my wonderfully irrational way, I started to train less and less and began to try not to think about the half marathon in any way; I would just go into a panic whenever I thought about it, which then would turn to anger at myself for being pathetic. Vicious circle with completely unconstructive results.

The way I approached it makes me think about my university degree (or any of my qualifications really); minimum effort = medium result. I was always the one who would never turn up for lessons/lectures but would still pass. Not always spectacularly, but I always passed with little effort. The only things I have ever failed were my cycling proficiency (only one in my class to fail much to my embarrassment!) and my driving test (twice). This is a testament to my complete lack of practical skills!

It doesn’t sound like it but I have a real fear of failure; I only commit to things when I already know I can do it. Running the marathon was the first thing I committed to without knowing how on earth I would do, it was well outside of my comfort zone. Again, I still managed to succeed while not applying myself as much as I could have. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t a brag!! While everyone has congratulated me and I do feel a great sense of accomplishment I also feel like I don’t deserve people’s compliments because I know I could have done better.

This is really what has made me sign up for Bath, for once I don’t have to look back on something I have done thinking ‘I  could have done much better if I had tried harder’ and that be the end of it because I have more chances to repeat this challenge with other Half Marathons. A lot of the anxiety will now be taken away as I know what to expect. I know next time, for example, that I probably need to have eaten something a couple of hours before running not 4 hours before!

My aim at Bath is to complete the course in 3 hours or less. I feel that this is do-able with proper, structured training. I will go back to the training plans from my book and I will follow them and not do what I did last time; think that the first couple of weeks were too easy and miss them out. I overlooked the fact that I needed to build my training up and not pick and choose. These plans were put together by people far wiser than myself so who am I to disagree?!

I shall endeavour to go back and stay with the Sole Sisters running group on a Monday night as the evenings are drawing in and I would feel better running with a group when it is dark. I do prefer running in winter! You stay a lot cooler.

I also need to pick a diet, stick to it and not chop and change all the time just because I have a bad week! I’m just as heavy as when I started training for Cardiff so I haven’t done myself any favours. I think I shall be sticking this photo on my fridge as a warning!!

Stay away from the pies!!!!!

I am very happy with what I achieved and I really didn’t think I could do it. So I am pleased with myself for that. Now I am going to concentrate on applying myself to the full; I, for once, do not have any exams to do. My 10 year run of exams has come to an end (GCSEs, AS Levels, A Levels, 3 years of uni exams, 3 years of accountancy exams and this year my project management exam) and for me that is a scary thing; I like to have something to avoid!! So now I have the time and capacity with no excuses to throw myself fully in to improving myself physically, not mentally for a change. All at the same time yet again raising money for the wonderful people at LATCH- I know I can seem self-absorbed about all this- it is all for charity, it just happens to be helping me too in other ways. I am hoping I will be able to raise more money by asking people to sponsor me based on a time rather than just finishing the course.

That’s all for now….